I recently discovered my new android phone has one of the most useful features ever introduced to mobile devices: REJECT CALL. Some day I hope to be able to offer payments to all of the creditors that call to harrass me. Or file bankruptcy (which at this point seems more likely). Until that day I can simply add the phone numbers of all the people who call me repeatedly demanding that I extract blood from the proverbial turnip to this list. Offering them the 32 cents I can dig out of my couch cushions doesn't seem to get them off my back, nor does telling them I simply can't pay. They'll call back tomorrow assuming I've won the lottery or a wealthy relative has died. No such luck.
With this amazing new REJECT CALL feature, not only have my shoulder muscles stopped knotting up from dread each time the phone rings, I no longer have to be bothered with sifting through the dozens of innane voicemails to listen to the 17 rejections from employers I applied at. This is surely a gift from God! Now if I could just convince the IRS to stop sending me letters every month demanding money. I make $12thousand a year guys, and since you work for my government maybe you could stop circling me like vultures? Oh well, they're on my reject list and the letters don't bother me while I'm at school or standing in line at the local welfare office. The media keeps telling me we're headed out of the recession so certainly it must be so. No? Well at least there's food stamps. Amen.
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